Divorce Attorney Scott J. Stadler

    • 18 SEP 15

    Divorce Tips for Husbands

    Man and woman sitting separated at court house. Divorce can be a difficult thing to deal with, regardless of who you might be. There are considerations in a divorce that are common to the majority of couples, such as how to divide marital property and who gets custody of the children, but some people have different considerations and concerns when it comes to divorce. While both men and women have similar concerns through a marriage, there are some things that husbands can do during a divorce in order to ensure that everybody benefits.

    Cooperate

    One of the most important things you can do in a divorce is to cooperate with your ex-spouse. While it may be hard to come to friendly terms with your ex-spouse, it is vital to not let your personal feelings get in the way, especially if minor children are involved. Not only will cooperation benefit your extra-marital relationship, but also, it could also have a positive effect on the divorce. If you choose not to cooperate with your ex-spouse during divorce proceedings, then it will be more likely that your spouse will be less forgiving should life situations arise and change your circumstances.

    Focus on Children

    Regardless of your feelings towards your ex-spouse, if you have children together, your feelings towards your ex-spouse should not affect your feelings towards your children. While you might want to try and be the ‘better’ parent by providing more for the child, it is important to keep in mind that your responsibilities as a parent continue long after the divorce judgment is made, even if you do not obtain full custody over the minor child. Love is not a contest that can be won, and if both parents begin competing for the affections of the child, then everyone loses. In addition, by maintaining your relationship with your children, you can provide much needed support to them during the chaos and uncertainty that comes with divorce proceedings.

    Drag Children into Dispute

    Just as you should focus on the children, you should also avoid dragging them through the details of the divorce. While your children will undoubtedly be affected by the outcome of the divorce, airing out grievances in front of them will only create further turbulence for everyone. The divorce can be just as stressful for your children as it is for you, and there is no reason to make it any more stressful than it needs to be.

    Privacy

    In many marriages, spouses spend time building a life together, setting up joint bank accounts, letting each other know about secrets, and even sharing email addresses or passwords. While it may be tough to separate from your prior married life, it is important to keep in mind that it might be necessary to keep some things separate from your ex-spouse. While a divorce might separate you physically, in this digital age, it is easier than ever for one party to affect another from long distances. Naturally, you would not want your spouse to have access to privileged information, such as attorney advice given via email. As such, you should consider having your own files or space where you can keep confidential documents.

    Communicate

    While you do not have to check in with your ex-spouse daily during or after a divorce, it is still important to maintain communication with your ex-spouse when possible. This is especially crucial if there is a question of custody over a minor child. While it might be tempting to make things simpler by cutting off all communication with your ex-spouse, staying in touch might not only foster a stronger relationship outside of the marriage, but can also make the divorce process easier for everyone involved. In addition, keeping a healthy line of communication with your ex-spouse can also help any minor children adjust to any changes that will come as a result of the divorce.

    Don’t Get Even

    Sometimes divorces can be emotionally charged, primarily when one party has wronged the other. Even if your spouse has wronged you, it is always best to avoid furthering any disputes by taking action in order to “get even” with the other party. Doing things such as destroying their property or allowing marital property to waste away will not only put a strain on the relationship, but can also be used against you in the divorce proceedings.

    Keep an Eye on Finances

    One thing that many people take for granted is finances. Even if you are able to support yourself without the assistance of your spouse, a support judgment can greatly change your financial situation. Financial concerns are not just limited to after a judgment is made, however, and many problems can be avoided during the divorce proceedings by avoiding unnecessary expenditures. It can be easy to let attorney fees rack up over time, and many necessary costs may arise during a divorce. As such, it is important to keep an eye on your finances throughout the entire divorce process in order to make sure that you avoid any major financial mistakes.