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If you’re at the point where you need to tell your children about your divorce, keep these ideas in mind during your first few conversations with the kids:
Have both parents tell the child(ren) about the divorce together
All children need to be told about the divorce at the same time whenever possible
It’s best to present divorce as a serious decision made after considerable thought, but with sadness, reluctance and sorrow for the pain it causes the child
Offer clear, honest explanations about the divorce. Avoid elaborate details of your marital problems (ie. Affairs, sexual problems)
Reassure your child that the divorce does not weaken the bond between the parent and the child
Give your child clear sense of an established place in each parent’s home (ie. their own room, place for toys, toiletries)
Know before you talk with the children what will happen next. Children need concrete details-where will I live, when will I see each parent, will I go to the same school. Predictability leads to stability in a child’s life
Focus on what will happen to each child, describe basic changes (ie. living arrangements, time with the other parent)
Extend an invitation to your child to make suggestions that will be considered
Assure your child he/she will be told of all major developments and changes
Stress that your child is not responsible for the divorce, but that this is an issue between the adults
Give your child permission to love both parents
Give your child a time frame of the divorce and expected changes.
The cost of your case will depend on the amount of cooperation there is between you and your spouse. The fewer issues the quicker and less expensive the case will be. Long cases are usually resolved within a year and take a lot of attorney time. These cases have low level cooperation and high degree of conflict. Please call me to discuss the details of your case.
Divorce & Family Law Attorney Scott J. Stadler
3111 N University Dr,
Suite 301 Coral Springs, FL33065