Throughout life, we experience several significant events that can and often do affect things about us as individuals. Sometimes they change us physically, and other times they may change our emotional or mental state. When such events occur, they can sometimes come as a surprise. Studies have shown that many of these types of events seems to coincide with increased likelihood for getting divorced. Understanding what types of significant life events might make individuals more likely to get divorced can help you anticipate such changes and handle them more effectively or may at least provide a better understanding about why you believe divorce to be the best option for you.
Children are, understandably, incredibly important to their parents. When years, sometimes decades, pass by in which children are the primary focus, some parents lose sight of the growing distance in their own relationship with each other. However, when children leave their parents’ home for college or to start their own families, parents can begin to realize how much distance actually exists. Sometimes, such distance may create a divide too large for individuals to bridge, and they find themselves in any empty nest that leads to divorce.
Returning to School
Sometimes, especially in cases in which individuals marry at a young age, one spouse may find that he or she wants to return to school. Balancing school and family is a difficult task, and can create a different dynamic within a marriage. Roles may have to change, and one spouse might be less comfortable with that than the other. Whether a person chooses to go back to school a few years into the marriage, after children are born, or after the children have left home, it can strain the marital relationship. The potential for bettering oneself to harm a marriage should never stop anyone from trying to do so, but individuals should take the time to prepare for the potential changes that come with doing so to make such a transition easier to manage.
One of the most common reasons people cite for divorce is an affair, either a spouse’s or their own. Sometimes, people have gotten married for the wrong reasons and believe that they may have found a person whom they consider to be a better match. Other times, poor judgment may lead an individual to have an affair that has little meaning but is more than enough reason for a spouse to pursue divorce. Whatever the details of an affair, they can often be the last straw for an individual already contemplating divorce or can be too much for a person to choose to remain in a marriage.
Career and Job Changes
Generally, people celebrate things like promotions at work and job changes that can bring new opportunities and excitement. However, such changes also come with new challenges. For instance, being promoted to a regional position within a company can be great news, professionally and financially. However, it can also mean that you and your family need to move further away from your support network of local family and friends – sometimes even across the country. Doing so can be extremely difficult logistically, but it can also take a large toll on personal relationships like the one you share with your spouse. Such moves can leave individuals feeling as if they are making huge adjustments solely for the benefit of their spouse, or make an individual feel isolated from family and friends he or she depends on. Growing unhappiness with stressful new surroundings can be a reason for considering divorce.
Likewise, the loss of a job can have a significant impact on a marriage, too. Financial hardship is often a reason for fighting and confrontation in a marriage, and the loss of a job can exacerbate such tension. Sometimes, spouses can become resentful of the need to support the other during periods of unemployment. Doing so can require one spouse to find additional employment, causing him or her to spend less time with the family. It can also require that an unemployed spouse take a job in which they are underemployed to help make ends meet, which can cause unhappiness at work that can spill over into a marriage.
For many relationships, experiencing a challenging and/or traumatic event can strengthen the bonds between spouses. However, depending on the circumstances of the experience, it can also cause individuals to grow further apart. While having a supportive spouse to help you navigate the difficulties traumatic experiences can present is extremely helpful, a spouse can sometimes begin to serve as a reminder of that traumatic event. This type of dynamic can be difficult to overcome. Emerging from a traumatic event can be difficult enough without the additional stress of a strained marriage, so some traumatic events may lead to distance between spouses that can end in divorce.
A disability developing from an accident or some type of chronic health condition can change a lot about the dynamic of a relationship. One spouse can become very ill, requiring significant shifts in the role each spouse plays within the marriage. Sometimes, chronic health conditions can cause significant financial strain on a marriage, too. There may be various aspects of care that a spouse is uncomfortable providing or cannot provide, or a disability could make staying at home impossible for one spouse for any number of reasons.
This category can also extend to having children with disabilities. Sometimes, a child that needs special care can have the same effects on a marriage as those described above. Stress and other factors that may arise from having a child with special needs can also take a toll on a marital relationship. Disabilities of any kind can require a great deal of time, energy, and attention that might otherwise be focused on the marital relationship, which may begin to deteriorate over time.
Assistance with Divorce
Anticipating significant life events that could impact your marriage is an important step in being able to handle such events with minimal impact on your marriage. However, if these types of events have occurred and you believe divorce may be the best option for your circumstances, it is important not to beat yourself up over it. Recognizing potential problems is only one part of successfully handling such issues, and there are some significant life changes that no amount of preparation can make easier. When you believe that divorce is the best option for you, it is important to speak with a Florida family law attorney that focuses their practice on divorce. Scott J. Stadler understands that no two divorces are exactly alike, and can provide the individual attention that you need. Contact Scott J. Stadler to schedule a consultation where you can find out more information about divorce as well as what divorce might mean for you based on your individual circumstances.