After dealing with an unhappy marriage or a contentious divorce, your motto about remarriage may be short and sweet: Never again. However, as the saying goes, never say never. Once the dust settles from your divorce and you feel comfortable being on your own, you may feel ready to fall in love again. You may meet someone who makes you happy and with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. You may want to have a long-term relationship with that person or even get married.
However, marrying for a second time is not glamorous. Second and subsequent marriages are more likely to fail than first marriages. Even if you know what you are looking for in a partner this time around, that does not mean your marriage is going to last. No marriage is immune from divorce, and is that an event that you really want to go through again?
Most likely, no. That is why many people shun the idea of remarriage. Not only do they dread the thought of another divorce, but they may worry about losing their assets, especially if they have children from their first marriage.
However, remarrying is not all bad. Many people give marriage a second shot in the search of true love. After all, hardly anyone wants to grow old alone. It is always nice to have someone in your life. There are pros and cons to remarriage, though, so if you are on the fence about saying “I do” once again, here are some things to consider.
Pros of Remarriage
Remarrying has many advantages. People grow and mature as they age, so they are less likely to experience the same issues in a second marriage. Marriage can be a completely different experience depending on the person you marry. After a divorce, you may have a better idea of the kind of person you are compatible with, so you will be less likely to make the same mistakes again the second time around.
Being married is good for your health. Marriage has many health benefits, especially for men. Having companionship is better than being lonely, and it leads to less stress and depression. You will have someone readily available to do things with you, which can be a huge source of comfort and happiness.
There are financial benefits of marriage as well. Married couples receive more tax benefits than those who are single. Two people can live together more cheaply than living separately. You can receive your spouse’s retirement benefits in the event of his or her death. If your spouse dies without a will, you will likely receive his or her assets.
Cons of Remarriage
Second marriages are more likely to end in divorce, and this can be scary for some people. But you need to understand why these marriages end in divorce.
One of the biggest reasons is the fact that blended families are often involved. You have your kids from your first marriage, and so does your partner. This can be quite the juggling act, especially if the children are still minors. You are merging two families into one, which is no easy task. It is hard enough to manage one family of kids. There may be issues caring for and disciplining the kids, especially when the kids want to pull the “You’re not my mother” or “You’re not my father” cards. There may be child custody and support issues, as well. Even if the children are adults, they may have animosity toward the new stepparent because they may feel the person is trying to replace their real parent. All of these issues can strain a second marriage.
Also, those who have been married before come with some sort of baggage. Besides kids, your partner may have jealousy issues or addictions that caused his or her first marriage to end. They may have problems handling money or maybe infidelity was an issue. Instead of ignoring these issues, it is best to discuss them. Talking about your past is a good way to get to know your partner better and find ways to get past these issues so they do not break up a second marriage.
Estate planning is another issue that people face when remarrying. They may want to give their assets to their children, but state law may require you to give some portion of your assets to your spouse. For many people, their children are their priority, so they will refuse to remarry. If you do decide to get married again, be sure to make your intentions clear in your estate planning documents.
You probably already lost many of your assets in a divorce, and you do not wish to have that happen again. To prevent this, many people choose to have a prenuptial agreement in place. Such a document outlines what will happen in a divorce, but such an agreement is more business-like than romantic, which can be a huge turnoff.
Seek Legal Help
Marriage is often tougher the second time around. Even if you think you have found your soulmate, statistics show that subsequent marriages are more likely to end in divorce.
If you do decide to give marriage a second chance, make sure to protect yourself. You may need a prenuptial agreement in place to protect your assets. Palm Beach divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler can assess your situation and give you the advice you need to make your next marriage successful. Call our office at (954) 346-6464 to schedule a consultation.