Ending a marriage is difficult for most people because the act of divorce signifies a sense of loss and failure. You gave up on your marriage and now you are losing your spouse—who may have been a part of your life for 10, 20, 30 or more years. While losing your spouse is probably the most significant loss in a divorce, it is far from the only thing you will end up losing.
Not having a partner to lean on for support can be a terrifying part of divorce. There are other losses and changes you will discover, as well. Some will affect you more than others, and that is fine. Your losses will be unique to you. Divorce was not meant to be easy; otherwise, most married couples would probably get one at some point.
Marriages consist of shared goals and memories and financial benefits, all which can be lost once you decide to end your marriage. Here are some other things you can expect to lose in a divorce.
If you have children, you will probably do all you can to maintain custody of them. However, Florida child custody law is based on the best interests of the children, which means that judges tend to favor joint custody. Therefore, you will likely lose time with your children, since they will probably be split between you and the other parent 50/50. Sole custody is an option if you can prove neglect or abuse, but for the most part, expect to see less of your children after a divorce.
Money and Standard of Living
Most people do not end up richer after a divorce, so expect to lose money, whether it be on lawyer’s fees or splitting up assets. If you stayed at home during the marriage, expect to get a job to pay for your expenses. You may be forced to leave the marital home and rent a small apartment. Your budget is going to take a hit. You may not be able to retire as expected. Plan accordingly.
Tax and Employer Benefits
Married couples enjoy many benefits. They get more tax deductions, so they pay less than they would if they were single. You may notice the difference come April 15.
If your spouse is employed and has benefits, you are probably enjoying health, dental, and vision coverage. Once you get divorced, you are on your own. Unless you work for an employer who offers these benefits, you can expect to pay a pretty penny for them—and you do not want to go without them. This is an expense you will have to factor into your budget.
Your hopes and dreams for the future tend to change once divorce plays a role. You may have planned to retire early. Maybe you wanted to move by the beach. A divorce can delay or even derail these plans. Goals take time and money. Once you divorce, starting thinking about new hopes and dreams. Start out with small ones and work your way up.
Sense of Partnership
When you get divorced, there is no longer another adult in the household that you can rely on. Your husband may have been the one who performed maintenance on your vehicle. Your wife may have been a doctor and now you are on your own when you are not feeling well. This can be a difficult adjustment, but you soon learn to become independent.You will in time find new resources or develop the skills you need to solve a problem on your own.
For many people, this is actually one of the biggest benefits of divorce, since many cannot stand their in-laws anyway. However, some people actually grow close to their spouse’s side of the family and even consider them their own family. Blood is thicker than water, though, so do not be surprised if your spouse’s parents and siblings stop talking to you or cut you out of their lives altogether. If you have children, your in-laws may or may not continue to be involved in their lives. Unfortunately, divorce breaks up many family relationships, so focus on the relatives who do want to continue to be in your life.
Not only could you lose close family members in adivorce, but you could lose friends as well. It is often hard for friends to stay neutral when a friend divorces, especially if they are close with both parties. They may not want to choose sides, so they will avoid both of you altogether. Your true friends will still want to talk to you and spend time with you, even if you are no longer part of a couple.
Traditions and Memories
Losing family traditions and memories can be painful in a divorce. Your family may have had certain traditions for Christmas and you want to do away with them because they serve as painful reminders of a once-happy family. After a divorce, you can create new memories and start new traditions. Change up your routine and make it about you (and the kids, if you have any).
Seek Legal Help
Marriages come with many benefits, and you may not fully realize them until you divorce. Are you prepared for all the things you could lose out on once you end your marriage?
People divorce every day. Know that you are not alone in your struggle. Palm Beach divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler can assist you during this stressful time. Dealing with loss is just part of divorce. Things do get better with time. Let us help you transition to a new life. Schedule a consultation by calling (954) 346-6464 today.