Being married is a beautiful thing, but it is not all unicorns and rainbows. Marriage requires a lot of hard work and effort and can be utterly exhausting at times. Couples must navigate a lot of issues in a marriage. One of the most common ones is money issues.
Money issues have become especially common since the COVID pandemic. Businesses have shut down. People lost their jobs. Inflation is causing gas and grocery prices to rise. The housing market is out of control.
Many couples are stressed out by money woes. They may fight and argue constantly. Money issues can affect intimacy and even lead to divorce.
Money is such a huge problem because there is a psychological dimension to it. It is an important aspect of the lives of every human. Given that money is such a necessity, we all have strong feelings about it. It may bring about positive emotions such as joy, pride, or comfort. On the other hand, it can also bring about stress, guilt, or shame.
Money is what allows us to pay bills, buy the things we need and want, and survive in general. Many people strive for wealth, so as you can imagine, it has been a source of conflict since its invention. Countries fight over money all the time. So do married couples. This has especially been the case since COVID ravaged the United States — and the whole world, for that matter.
Because we depend on money for survival, not having money can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. You might lie awake at night wondering how you will pay the bills. If you and your spouse have different views and beliefs about how money should be spent, then divorce becomes even more likely. While communication problems are common issues in a marriage, so are money disagreements. Job loss and unemployment are significant stressors in a relationship. Therefore, money can bring about many emotional problems that can ruin your marriage for good.
Common Effects of Financial Problems
Finances can put a lot of stress on your marriage and your life in general. Here are some common effects:
- Stress. Of course, money breeds stress. It does not matter if you are rich or poor; you will likely feel some stress about finances at some point. It is important to keep in mind that stress is not just a psychological effect. It can manifest into physical ailments as well, such as headaches, stomach pains, fatigue, difficulties with sleeping and eating, high blood pressure, and decreased sex drive.
- Resentment. Fighting about money is a common issue for couples. The problem is that money issues are not always resolved. The money issue could go on for many years, causing one or both spouses to develop resentment for each other. This is especially true if your spouse does not care about your feelings.
- Communication difficulties. People have trouble talking to their spouses about money. In fact, many are in the dark about how much money their spouse earns or how much they have saved in a separate bank account. This can lead to trust issues in the marriage.
- Fewer opportunities. They say that money cannot buy happiness, but it sure can bring about a lot of opportunities. Need a new car? Money can buy one. Dishwasher break down? Just buy a new one. Money can help you accomplish a lot of things, like paying bills and replacing items that are important to you. It can also allow you to engage in hobbies, travel, and raise children.
How to Resolve Financial Issues
Money matters can be challenging to get through, but not impossible. Here are some ways to resolve them and help you get your marriage back on track:
- Communicate. Communication is key in marriage, and unfortunately, many couples refuse to discuss important issues. Money is important but should not be uncomfortable to discuss. You need to have a discussion about money with your spouse. Listen without judgment. Be honest and respectful.
- Budget. Having a budget is important. This allows you to keep track of your money and make sure you are not overspending. It is necessary to prioritize your needs so you are not spending your money on things that are not important. Having a budget will help you be more mindful of how you are spending your money.
- Set goals. If your issue is you have no savings account, create small goals for yourself. For example, make it a point to save $100 a month. This will quickly grow. Over the course of a year, you will have $1,200 saved up. When you achieve your goals, be sure to celebrate them.
- Negotiate. When it comes to money in marriage, there should be no losers. Both spouses should be able to “win.” Work together to brainstorm and come up with ways to make money and pay off debt quickly.
- Get help. Do not be afraid to ask for financial help if you need it. While there is a wealth of information online, sometimes you just need money to pay off debt. Get a personal loan. Ask family and friends for financial help. Swallow your pride and accept the help.
Seek Legal Help
Money is a powerful thing, and it is a common issue in marriages. People strive for financial security because having too little money brings about many negative emotions.
Tired of dealing with money matters? Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler understands how money can impact marriages — and divorces. Schedule a consultation by calling (954) 346-6464 or filling out the online form.