If things have not been going too well lately with your husband or wife, you may be worried that your marriage will end in divorce. Communication and trust issues can rear their heads and cause a marriage to fail, even if you have been happily married for some time.
Not every divorce is wanted. In many cases, one spouse files for divorce while the other tries to fight it. If your spouse has been unhappy for quite some time, it is time to set things straight. Do you want a divorce, as well? If not, then you need to fight to change your spouse’s mind. Even if your spouse is set on ending the marriage, you can still change his or her mind. It is not easy, though. It will take an immense amount of effort on your part to prove to your husband or wife that your marriage is worth fighting for. Here are some tips for strengthening your marriage and staying out of divorce court.
Understand What Needs to Change
If a divorce is on the horizon, you will have likely received some warning in the form of criticism, complaints, or angry comments. For example, your spouse may have mentioned that you drink too much, do not help out enough around the house, nag too much, or are too messy. Maybe your wife has mentioned that you do not show your emotions or listen to her. Perhaps your husband is upset that you spend more time with your friends than with him.
Make a list of all these complaints and show them to your spouse. Let them add any complaints to the list. Then, review the list and take action. Find out why you make each mistake and take the steps to change these habits.
Avoid Playing Victim
Nobody wants to be around someone who is always feeling sorry for him or herself. Instead of playing the victim and displaying a “poor me” attitude, do the opposite and start thinking positive. Be nice to others, especially your spouse. Be grateful. Compliment him or her. Smile and laugh at his or her jokes.
Think of all the good things you bring to the marriage. You will soon start to believe in yourself, and when you do, you can make anything happen. You can even stop your divorce.
Communicate
Communication is key in every relationship. A marriage cannot survive if the spouses rarely talk to each other. For a marriage to succeed, both parties should understand the other. A spouse should be free to talk about his or her life, dreams, and interests. When a marriage provides no opportunity for this to happen, the relationship will quickly deteriorate. Aim to talk to your spouse for 30 minutes a day.
Take Care of Yourself
Many people start to fall apart once they become married. They figure that their spouse is attracted to them no matter what, so they feel the need to stop taking care of themselves. They may eat unhealthy foods and gain weight. Thy may refuse to shower or shave.
Physical appearance will always play a role in your marriage, no matter how long you have been married. Your spouse will be more attracted to you if you exercise and stay in shape instead of spending your days on the couch watching TV and gaining 100 pounds in the process. Unhealthy habits can cause a rift in a marriage.
Do Not be Controlling
Your spouse is not a child. Your husband or wife is an adult and should be allowed to have his or her space. You should not be controlling your spouse 24/7. He or she should be allowed to work, attend school, spend time with friends and family, and engage in hobbies.
While it is important for a couple to spend time together, they should not be smothering each other. Your spouse should be able to enjoy activities with others without making you jealous. If he or she feels like you are too clingy, he or she will end the marriage to finally get the freedom he or she needs.
Share Expectations
Many marriages fail because one spouse does not know what the other expects. Many people have certain expectations in their relationships, and while some of these expectations are just way out of reach, it is important for the parties to understand each other’s needs and wants. This is especially true when it comes to finances, when both parties have vastly different opinions on how to spend money and deal with debt. However, this could apply to communication styles and routines, as well.
Consider Counseling
If your marriage is on the brink of falling apart, it may be worthwhile to seek professional help first. Before calling a lawyer, call a therapist. If both parties are willing to put in the effort to save the marriage, then marriage counseling can be helpful. A trained therapist can help the parties communicate better, which can help the couple understand why they fell in love in the first place.
Seek Legal Help
It is never too late to start working on your marriage. If things have become stagnant and you think divorce may be a possibility, it is time to change your spouse’s mind. Follow the tips above to try to save your marriage.
Unfortunately, some marriages have problems that cannot be resolved easily. If you have tried but cannot save your marriage, seek legal help from Palm Beach divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler. He offers many options for a fair and amicable divorce. Find a solution today. Schedule a consultation by calling (954) 346-6464.